Pursuing Peace
One Family’s Story of Dealing with Adversity

By Kristin Moorhead

Turn from evil and do good, seek peace and pursue it

Psalms 34:14

Into each life a little rain must fall. Sometimes that rain comes in the form of a torrential downpour. The Swenson Lee Family of Minnetonka had their own Monsoon season but they have dealt with it with grace, a positive spirit and the support of their community.

Life was good for the Swenson family in 2006. Vicki had given birth to twin girls and they were settling into life as a family of five. Samantha (9) was getting used to having siblings for the first time.  Erik was teaching at Hopkins High School and coaching football for Blake High School. Vicki was on maternity leave with the twins, Stella and Olivia, life was busy.

Then on September 22, 2006 life as they knew it changed dramatically. Vicki’s sister Teri Lee, along with her close friend Tim Hawkinson, were murdered in Teri’s home by a former boyfriend, Steven Van Keuren. Teri, whose husband had been killed years earlier in a car accident, left behind four children; Taylor, Tyler Trevor and Tara, ages six to twelve. Everything they knew was now going to change; their family, their home, their neighborhood and friends.

The kids stayed with another aunt for a few days while Vicki made funeral arrangements for her sister. Then the traumatized kids moved in with Auntie Vicki and Uncle Erik.

Vicki stated, “There was never a doubt in my mind that we would take the kids, we had had these conversations before, I knew that their mom would have done this for us.” Vicki had had hypothetical conversations with her sister about being guardians for her children if anything ever happened to her after her brother-in-law Ty Lee’s death. This pledge took on a new level of meaning after Teri’s life was threatened by Van Keuren in July of 2006.

Vicki recalled the difficulties of the first month. The first issue was the logistics of making this family of nine function. Erik and a few friends moved mattresses and clothes and necessities out of the Lee home. There wasn’t room for much more than that in their modest house. The Swenson’s three bedroom home was stretched to the limit. The three girls shared one room, which was basically wall-to-wall mattresses. The boys shared another room and the twins moved into the office.

At first, because of the trauma that the children had experienced, they were not able to sleep in their own rooms, so the entire family, minus the twins, slept in the master bedroom. The three older girls and Vicki and Erik slept on the bed and the boys slept on the floor, eventually the girls moved to the floor and then everyone to their own room. For the first month quality sleep was a rare occurrence.

The Swensons did feel good about the kids going to their neighborhood Hopkins elementary school. The teachers and staff went out of their way to be caring to the kids in their new environment.  The colleagues at Hopkins High School started planning a benefit luncheon for the Swenson Lee family almost immediately. Over 1200 people attended this luncheon and silent auction, which raised much-needed funds to cover all of the unplanned expenses associated with raising four additional children.

Erik and Vicki both feel that the fact that they are in the teaching and coaching profession has been a huge blessing. The fact that they have touched so many lives of students and athletes over the years is a large part of the reason that they had such an outpouring of support in the wake of this tragedy. Plus, classroom management skills learned from teaching and coaching helps the parents manage this large family. Erik joked, “Sometimes I feel like I’ve got my own team at home.”

Vicki and Erik’s extended families have also lent tremendous support and have jumped in when necessary to help baby-sit.

One area of life that the Swensons made a concerted effort to keeping normal for the kids was their love of sports. All of the kids were and continue to be involved in sports. This along with Erik and Vicki’s coaching schedule presented quite a challenge. The Swensons quickly learned that they couldn’t do it all themselves. Neighbors and friends have stepped up to help.

The couple feels very fortunate for the support system that they have, they focus on the blessings in their lives. Vicki mused, “Sometimes you want to hide under the covers, it would be easy to go the other way” But she makes a deliberate decision that “evil can’t have me, he can’t have my marriage and he can’t have my happiness.”

When Dateline came to Minnesota to interview the family about the events surrounding the double murder and how the family is coping, Vicki realized how powerful her sister’s story was, she also was struck by the number of women who came up to her and said, “that could have been me.”  Vicki and Erik decided to use her sister’s story to change things in this country. She brainstormed with her sister’s friends and then spoke to the MN coalition of battered women about what things could’ve helped her sister and what could make things better for other women.

Using Patti Wetterling as a role model Vicki testified before the legislature and also has had several public speaking engagements. Her efforts have paid off. She is proud to say that there are two changes to laws regarding domestic assault crimes; there are now pictures on no contact orders making it easier to catch offenders and also law enforcement can now cross state lines to arrest an offender.

While the Swenson Lees were getting settled in their new life, there were ongoing challenges - a certain sight or sound could bring all the emotions to the surface again especially for the kids, but there was a new normal developing. The house was cramped and privacy was a thing of the past but they were getting along. Luckily for this family Vicki’s volleyball players had a plan to give this family some much-needed room.

The girls contacted ABC’s Extreme Makeover Home Edition and sent in a tape explaining why this family deserved to be the recipients of a new house. After the producers interviewed the family they decided that this family would be featured in the show’s 100th episode.

The Swenson Lees did have an inkling that they would be chosen but they were not sure until the camera crews showed up on their front door step. They were packed and headed off to Disneyland. A short seven days later they arrived back to a beautiful new home with plenty of room for a family of ten – “Move that bus!!!!!!” (Vicki was seven months pregnant with baby Eva at the time). Over 3,000 volunteers helped out in the total demolition and rebuild. There were over 800 companies and organizations that donated goods and services to the project.

It has been a year since their makeover home was completed. The family has the space and amenities that they need; like two laundry rooms to wash all those sports uniforms and an extra large refrigerator. When Vicki thinks about her life now she says, “The easy part is having eight kids, they are so loving, and they are really great. The hard part is all of the other stuff.” There is still a lot of commotion dealing with ongoing legal issues, appeals, documenting of expenses for the estate, etc. The family’s lawyer has practically become a member of their extended family.

During the course of my interview with the parents the older kids came in one by one from their various practices. They said a quick hello and then headed off to get ready for the next day of school. The kids seem self-sufficient and mature beyond their years. I know that they have their tough times but they also seem content, as the older boy Tyler put it, “I feel pretty happy but sometimes I feel really sad.” Nothing will ever bring back the kid’s mom but as I sat there in their living room I had a sense that they’re going to be ok, they will continue to weather the storm.

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