Teaching Children to  Give of Themselves
at the Holidays

By Gina Roberts-Grey LCSW

Many families wince at the official start of the holiday season.  The additional pressure of planning holiday meals and worrying  about the impending chore of shopping, opens the door to the reality that the busy holiday season is once again swiftly approaching. 

Amidst the routine you typically follow during the year, now you go in search for the perfect gift for loved ones and bake dozens of cookies.  How do your children perceive this busy time of year?  While you rush through tasks that are supposed to be enjoyable and provide your family a memorable holiday experience, what do your children learn about the spirit of the season? 

Do your children wish they had more time to spend enjoying the holidays with you?  Do they want to participate in the hustle and bustle of preparing for the holidays?  What parent wouldn’t delight at the idea of reducing the number of gifts to shop for and wrap?

How do you think your children would react to the chance to create, package and distribute the gifts they give this year?  Most children appreciate the chance to be thoughtful, generous and compassionate.  What if you could help your child give the people on his list presents that didn’t cost a cent this year? 

Children look to our examples of generosity, compassion and selflessness now more than ever at this time of year.  They want to help select gifts for teachers and siblings.  They demonstrate their best behavior as the holidays near hoping to impress family members and elves bearing gifts.

With the added stress the holidays bring, it is easy to become overscheduled and trapped in a cocoon of tasks.  Random and genuine acts of kindness are often forgotten as powerful lessons to teach our children.  Parents can present many gift options to children that instill the pleasure of giving as well as receiving this season.

The kindness demonstrated when contributing to a giving tree or food pantry is a wonderful demonstration of philanthropy. Local discount and department stores, shopping centers and even grocery stores offer a variety of ways to sponsor children and families that are struggling.  Realizing that some children hope for new socks, mittens or selflessly ask for items to give their parents, may encourage your kids to use part of their allowance to contribute a gift to needy children. 

Time Talents and Treasures

It is important that children understand that charitable acts do not always equate to donating money.  Suggest your children give of himself by bestowing his time, talents or treasures as gifts this season.

•  Together with your children, make a list of how they can give the gift of their talents.  Every night you celebrate Chanukah one child can take the time to teach a younger sibling or neighbor to read or learn math facts.  Mark the days off of an advent calendar with a good deed done around the house as an early gift to mom and dad.

•  Taking the trash out or raking laves for an elderly neighbor or helping a teacher organize the classroom after school gives the gift of his time. By spending time reading to a grandparent or person whose eyesight isn’t what it used to be, instead of hanging out with friends, your child learns the meaning of giving at the holidays – and throughout the year.

• Older children can volunteer to donate time to baby sit for a neighbor who needs to run holiday errands, or for a single mom or dad who could use some time for themselves.  Children not yet ready to baby sit alone but looking to be a mentor can offer to accompany a family member or neighbor and their younger child on a fall walk. Helping clean a younger pal’s room or teach the story of the first celebration of a holiday event to a young neighbor is a wonderful gift your child can give.

• Your kids can help lower the stress level of a close neighbor or friend by offering to walk the dog, care for the cat or feed the fish while they are away during the holidays.  Using his talent and love of animals, your child will

relish the responsibility.

Make it a Family Affair

•  Pack a thermos of hot chocolate and marshmallows and a book of your family’s favorite holiday story.  Schedule a visit at a children’s hospital or organization that deals with displaced children for your family to read to the children who are there for the holidays.  Dressing in character or making props or a set to present the story as a play leaves a dramatic impression that stays with your children as well as your audience. 

• Contact a local retirement or assisted living community to learn about adopting a grandparent during the holidays.  Since many people in their golden years feel displaced or forgotten at the holidays, spending time to hear their traditions, share stories and enjoy holiday treats together spreads heartwarming holiday cheer.  Your family may also learn some insightful facts about holiday traditions from different cultures, religions and generations.

•  Volunteer to make a meal for a family that will spend the holiday in the hospital.  Seeing the faces illuminate when you showup on Christmas morning with a home cooked meal for a family whose child or parent is ill will not only fill your family’s heart with pride, you’ll all be reminded of the true spirit of the season.

Giving your children the introspective and personal chance to realize how they can be generous this year will foster fond holiday memories.  Your children will learn life lessons that will afford both compassion and generosity while they promote self esteem and pride.

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