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There are few milestones in a parent’s life that carry greater weight than the day when a teenager gets a driver’s license. It is an experience that vividly illuminates a gap between the generations. For teens, it’s a thrilling moment as they believe they have reached nirvana and grabbed the “golden ticket” for unlimited trips to points known and unknown. And for parents, well, it’s definitely a different kind of thrilling…and not necessarily the good kind. The minute you hand over the car keys, you are also handing your teen a tremendous amount of responsibility. In that same moment, you will learn that your first silent hope and prayer for their safety will become an underlying theme of your parenting life from that point forward. (If you haven’t already guessed, I have a teenage driver in the house). According to Lisa Kons, continuing education coordinator for the Minnesota Safety Council, sending a teen off with only good wishes for safe travels doesn’t begin to capture the true responsibilities of the parent with a teen driver. “The most important thing is for parents to remain actively involved in their child’s driving life. Remember at all times that as a parent, even if your teen has his own car, you are the one in control of the vehicle,” Kons says, adding the first step is to set firm limitations regarding your expectations of vehicle use and their behavior as a driver. Parents should always demand that simple but vital rules are observed by both the teen driver and all others in the car: seatbelts must be worn by everyone, absolutely no cell phone use, restrictions on the number of friends allowed in the vehicle while your teen is driving, and cautious observation of the speed limit. As confident as your teen may seem behind the wheel, the harsh reality of the adolescent brain is working against their apparent skill level. “Studies have shown that the brain is not fully developed until the age of 24,” says Kons. “So, really, teens are not totally capable of coping with multiple diversions and distractions which is what driving can really be about.” Back to cell phones, which are quite possibly the most distracting invention known to mankind and that goes double for teenage kind. The fact of the matter that should be emphasized by parents on a regular basis is this: cell phone use while driving in the state of Minnesota is simply against the law and has been since 2006. Rather than wasting your breath lecturing your teen on this topic, make sure you are walking the walk and NOT talking the talk on your cell phone when you are behind the wheel. In focus groups that Kons has organized around the topic of teen driving safety, she has learned that “show, don’t tell” is the most effective way to reach teens and guide them toward sound judgment and the development of good driving skills. “Teens tend to have this feeling of invincibility,” says Kons. “They can’t relate to lectures about driving dangers. They just don’t accept that they could ever be involved in an accident resulting in their death,” she explains. “They need to be hit between the eyes with the blood, the guts, the gore. Real stories impact them.” Several months ago, Kons heard a father from southern Minnesota deliver a very sobering presentation to teens about the death of his 16-year-old daughter in an automobile accident. The young girl was not wearing her seat belt and the force of the collision, combined with the pressure of the windshield, not only threw her out of the car window but caused most of her clothes to be ripped off in the process. The reaction of the kids was surprising. “They were more horrified about the prospect of people seeing them lying on the ground without their clothes than they were about the idea of death,” says Kons. “But that story definitely affected them. They don’t want to be preached to. They need to hear examples they can understand.” One of the most important topics parents should discuss with the newly driving teen - and continue to mention on a regular basis - is that driving is a privilege. “People don’t have to drive,” says Kons. “Kids need to understand that driving is a privilege they earn by following rules. Not only those established by law enforcement, but those set by their parents as well.” While it may be tempting for parents to breathe a sigh of relief that their teen can finally help drive a sibling to school, the reality is that parents need to remain involved in all family driving decisions. “Don’t ever just walk away from it, thinking your teen is really ready to handle this alone,” says Kons. Instead, do everything in your power as a parent to make sure your teen is becoming the best and most safety conscious driver he or she can be. The Facts About Teen Driving
-Minnesota Department of Public Safety Office of Traffic Safety Resources & Information for teen drivers and their parents: www.minnesotasafetycouncil.org www.fox9news.com (for links to the “Live to Drive Another Day” campaign)
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Tween/Teen Times