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This is a topic that is capable of striking fear into the hearts of parents who don’t want to imagine or believe the child they have loved and cherished since birth has gone behind their backs to participate in a life that is separate, secret and above all, dangerous. The physical and emotional well being of the child could be at stake, and if parents do not get involved; it is not an overstatement to suggest the consequences could be deadly. The topic is drug and alcohol abuse. Current statistics bear repeating. In 2005, approximately 10.8 million young people between the ages of 12 and 20 – close to 28% of that age group – reported drinking alcohol during the past month, according to a National Survey on Drug Use and Health conducted by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), alcohol is a factor in over 40% – almost half – of all deaths from motor vehicle use. On the subject of drugs, the CDC reports that marijuana is the most commonly used illicit drug among teens, about 20% of them. However, other more readily available drugs – prescription drugs – are being abused on a regular basis by approximately 2.1 million teens, once again according to the CDC. These and other alcohol/drug related statistics are certainly troubling to parents. The question is how do you really know if your teen has started using? And if you suspect something might be going on, what are the steps you should take to address the issue and take action? Tom O’Reilly, a nationally recognized expert on teens and drug/alcohol use, spent the past thirteen years as the Director of the Guidance Department at Academy of Holy Angels in Richfield before retiring in June. He says the first place to begin when attempting to evaluate your teen’s behavior is to look at four key areas of their lives: family, friends, school and the combined area of interaction with co-workers at a part time job or episodes with law enforcement personnel. “What you want to do is see if there is trouble in any one of those four areas,” says O’Reilly. While all teens can be surly and stubborn on occasion, a marked increase in negativity towards parents, home life or other subjects, should be noted. “If the teen is constantly pushing the envelope in terms of limits, boundaries or curfews – if you feel like they have become combative about everything, that’s something to watch,” says O’Reilly. A teen may also start isolating himself or withdrawing from family activities. “If they are using, they want everyone to stay at arm’s length,” explains O’Reilly. Physical changes may also be observed. “Alcohol use can cause a change in the complexion, or you might notice weight loss,” he says. Friendships can be another trouble spot when it comes to determining if a teen is struggling with substance abuse. “A 180º change in a long time friendship can be a sign,” says O’Reilly. “If the teen stops calling or associating with a good friend, it’s another attempt to keep people away.” At the same time, if new names start popping up belonging to kids they aren’t bringing home to meet you, try to determine why. “Teens will try to keep these new ’friends’ away from parents if they are part of a using lifestyle,” says O’Reilly. Changes in school behavior – academic performance, rapport with teachers or attendance problems–could also be considered red flags. “Overall, if their approach to school has been significantly or dramatically changed, parents might want to look into the situation,” says O’Reilly. Finally, if they have a job they have grown very negative about, have suddenly started complaining about a boss and/or if they have started having run-ins with the law, parents might also want to sit up and take notice. “Really, if two or three of these areas start to become cause for concern, parents should start comparing notes,” says O’Reilly. “Talk to teachers, talk to the friends they have had for awhile and ask if they too have noticed changes in the teen’s behavior. Comparing notes with others is exactly what your teen doesn’t want you to do.” Another area, which falls under the category of family, is use of the word “trust,” according to O’Reilly. “If kids throw around the expression ’you don’t trust me’ a lot, this is usually the tactic they hold on to as a way to divert attention,” he explains. “They know this is what will make parents feel guilty of suspecting anything.” If concerns remain or are increasing, O’Reilly suggests parents take their teen in for a physical exam to rule out any type of medical situation. “Physicians can also administer a urine analysis test, called a ua, which screens for drugs,” he says. Parents can also request a full chemical screening – according to O’Reilly, you can contact your health care provider to find out where these tests are administered (it’s generally covered by health insurance). What might prove to be the toughest part is confronting your teen about his or her alcohol/drug use. “Over the years, I’ve had what I call the 10% rule,” explains O’Reilly. “If you get them to own up to the fact they might have experimented ’a couple of times,’ that figure can generally be multiplied by ten. They still want to keep the truth to themselves.” The bottom line is that as hard as those conversations might be, parents have the chance to stress to their teen how much they are loved, while at the same time laying out expectations for behavior. “Parents should ask the teen if they will make a firm commitment not to use. If privileges like driving and social life need to be attached to that, fine,” says O’Reilly. If the situation becomes more difficult, O’Reilly says school counselors can be a good source of information for parents about treatment programs and other resources. “Teenagers think they are absolutely bulletproof when it comes to drugs and alcohol and that they won’t have problems,” says O’Reilly. “It’s up to parents to be consistent with their message and their expectations. Tell your teen that it scares you when they use and that your concern is out of love.” For more information about teens and drug use, Tom O’Reilly recommends these websites. Hazelden National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA) New Connections
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Tween/Teen Times