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“There are two lasting bequests It hit me at the grocery store as I stood on my tiptoes reaching for my oldest son’s favorite cereal. I grabbed the box, paused to look at it a moment, then gingerly placed it back on the shelf while struggling to hold back a visceral wail threatening to release itself–of all places–in aisle five at Rainbow Foods! I didn’t need to buy Kevin’s favorite cereal because he was leaving the next day for Australia to study abroad for 4 1/2 months. I chose an interesting time to move out of denial and into acceptance. Grace-filled Goodbye True-to-form, Kevin was on the computer the day of his departure scurrying to complete his financial aid application so he could actually pay for the adventure, set to begin in less than four hours. I looked at my husband with raised eyebrows, and thought to myself, “I am SO not going to miss witnessing these procrastination episodes over the next four months.” Kevin was inadvertently making it easier for me to say goodbye. We got to the airport two hours early and stood in an extremely long line: apparently weather in Texas had resulted in a backlog of customers waiting to be re-routed. To add to the drama, an ineffective, crabby agent surveying the line pulled Kevin out and insisted he try the kiosk, despite our protest that another employee said it wouldn’t work because of the multiple connecting flights on his international journey. When the crabby agent saw the kiosk rejecting Kevin, she quickly snuck off, grabbed a cup of coffee and left on break! Is it wrong for me to have wished a one way trip for this woman to the seventh circle of hell?! So back we went to the end of a line that had grown to obscene lengths and was not budging. Anxiously I watched the clock, wondering what kind of travel nightmare he’d be in for if he didn’t make the first leg of his day-long trip to Australia. Then with a half hour to spare, an angel agent stepped in and pulled Kevin through the molasses. After she quickly printed all his boarding passes, he had exactly 25 minutes to get through security, run to his gate and board the flight. Since there was no time for a tearful goodbye, we gave him a quick kiss and hug, yelled I love you and told him to call when he arrived. Grace can come in mysterious disguises, like short goodbyes. Lifelong Weaning From the minute my babies left my womb, I began the dance of striving to mother without smothering. While I trust the energetic umbilical cord that connects us will always remain intact, I recognize that is has shrunk in proportion, as I become a smaller and smaller part of their world. I weaned my babies with mixed emotions and watched with bittersweet feelings as they proudly held their own bottles. Heck, I was even emotional when they graduated from a bottle to a sippy cup, because I recognized the days of cuddling contentedly in my arms were coming to an end. So crawling turned into walking and little red wagons and trikes were soon discarded for speed bikes. Around age 16, cars provided the ultimate freedom for our kids not to mention worry for my husband and myself. Now an airplane has stretched the parental leash across continents, spanning from St. Paul to Australia. I knew all along my kids were going to grow up, become independent, travel a bit and perhaps even move away. What I didn’t realize was how fast we’d arrive at this destination. Helpful Hints As I’ve struggled to support my son in spreading his wings, here’s what I’ve found to be helpful:
Mary Rose Remington, M.S.Ed. is the mother of 3 emerging adults, freelance writer and keynote speaker from St. Paul Minnesota. Contact at www.maryremington.com or 651-457-1302.
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Seasoned Living